Ada and I have been having these lovely conversations before bed the last few nights. We talk about all sorts of things. She usually says something about the baby or her brother. Last night she wanted to be reminded of his name.
His name is Benjamin, sweetheart. Or you could call him Ben, or Benji.
She smiles. Where is he now Mama?
His body died my sweet, but his spirit, the part inside each of us that makes us who we are, his spirit is watching over us, taking care of us.
She smiles again. He’s in our hearts Mama.
Yes, he is. He’s in our hearts forever.
An angel. She knows this from the book the hospital gave us for her.
I nod. An angel. You can talk to him if you want to.
I don’t want to.
Okay sweetheart, you don’t have to.
Mama, what’s my brother’s name again?
Benjamin, I smile. Or you can call him Ben or Benji.