For the last hour I’ve been writing about this caterpillar that we stuck in a container a couple of weeks ago and how today it flew away as a pale yellow butterfly.
And it was all a bunch of blah blah blah.
I wanted it to be deep and important. I wanted to have something interesting to say.
I stepped away and realized that yes, it was cool to watch Nature in action and one of the best things about having a child is seeing the world with new eyes. Yes, there were some universal truths in the experience, but they’ve been explored by much more talented writers than I.
What’s really on mind tonight are the amazing people who have touched my life with their words left here in response to mine, how open my heart feels, how much I treasure my husband and daughter, and how much I love my son. I’m thinking about the pregnant friend I saw today who looks so adorable at 27 weeks I want to be jealous but can’t, and the one who is days home with a newborn, adjusting to life as a family of four. I’m remembering the call with my brother – with his new baby, new job and the stress of finishing a PhD and how as I listened I thought about how different my life was supposed to be.
That’s where we get into trouble isn’t it? Thinking that anything is supposed to be.
There’s no such thing. It’s a mental construct.
Life just is.