On turning 39

Today is my birthday. I am now 39 years old. It’s been a beautiful, simple day, full of emails, phone calls and facebook messages. We visited a butterfly grove, where monarchs flitted through dappled sunlight. We hiked down to a rocky beach and collected sea shells. I found a large piece of aquamarine sea glass – an unusual color to find and March’s birthstone – a little wink and a nod from the Universe. Dinner was at my favorite little vegan restaurant and for the first time since I became an adult, did not involve a glass of wine or anything sweet. Random.org and I picked the winners* for my three giveaways and I’m writing this with a cup of ginger tea on hand. Simple. Beautiful. After hitting publish, I will meditate, walk the dog, dance and fall into bed with a smile on my face.

I am closing the door on the hardest year of my life and opening my heart to what is to come. My perspective has shifted once again. I remember turning 29 and feeling despair at all that I hadn’t accomplished. I look forward to 40 and think happily about all the things I still get to do.

In the wake of the devastation in Japan and with today’s simple happiness coursing through my veins, the refrain I hear is this – It doesn’t need to be my birthday for me to choose joy.

And while I didn’t get to stare into a little boy’s blue eyes, or hear him coo, I know somewhere, he is smiling and whispering, Happy Birthday Mama, I love you too.

*****

* Giveaway winners were as follows: #1 Roos, #2 Tiffany, #3 Pamela. Thank you all for playing and allowing me to give to you on the day when I received so much.