I spent this past weekend with my family, throwing an extended birthday party for my mom. It was really a family reunion and I hadn’t seen my aunts, uncle, cousins and their children in six years.
A lot changes in six years. More kids. More gray silver hair. More life lived.
I’ve changed immeasurably during this time. As we readied my grandparents’ old home for the weekend I began to see this house where I’d spent many happy hours in a new way. Childhood memories and assumptions flooded to the surface and I examined them from a 42-year old perspective, feeling deeply changed and at the same time, hugely comforted. I pulled my iPhone out of my pocket and looking through the lens of its camera, began to see familiar objects with new eyes.
I found myself wanting to let go of old patterns and ways of interacting, of old ways of thinking about these people who were an integral part of my growing up but who I rarely see as an adult. Not that those ways were bad, necessarily. It was more that I wanted to stand firmly in the person I am now, rather than being pulled back into the girl I used to be.
Family is good at tugging invisible strings that can make us feel like a tattered marionette, even if they don’t mean to. Family can also envelop us in gifts and warmth, forgiveness and love.
I had a wonderful time this weekend. I feel very lucky to have the family I do. I adore my cousins and gosh, they have cute kids, several of whom I’d never met. And I feel lighter somehow, as though I’ve shed layers of old skin that were unknowingly weighing me down.
As I move into this week of traveling home and preparing for Ada to start second grade, I want to continue to see the world around me, and the world within me, in new ways, with fresh eyes.
I’d love for you to join me.
Is there anything you’ve been able to look at from a different perspective lately? Do you have any specific tools that help you see with new eyes? Please share below if you do!
P.S. There’s something about being around children that helps me see the world from a different perspective. Here’s a photo of Ada and her cousin making shoes out of Jenga pieces that makes me smile.
My tools? Looking at my boys, really looking at them. They’ve outgrown their shoes (once again…) and decided to stash most of their plush toys that they’ve had since they were born. They are moving on – every second of the day – and so am I, but I only seem to notice it through their growth. Like you do with the Jenga Fall Collection 🙂
Travel safe my dear friend!
xoxo
With my youngest child, my only son, starting 1st grade this week, I now have all 3 of my children attending the same grade school. Somehow my world looks a little different, a little lighter, also because I’m breathing into the process of aging. I’ve hit the “magical stage” that everyone told me to look forward to…having all 3 children in school, full-time, growing more independent…having children that are growing into their own unique personalities…and becoming a mom that still tries to balance a lot but can also breathe a little easier at the end of the day.
Beautiful post! I completely get family having the potential to bring you back. I am super close with my family so as I grow sometimes it is very hard. I have been struggling lately because my husband and I are about to move cross country (2nd time in two years) and I feel the urge to reinvent myself. Not to change who I am based on what other people will like but based off of what I would like for myself. I constantly reflect on my own patterns of behaviors and thoughts. I use to work as a behavior specialist so I think it stems from that! But thanks so much for this beautiful post!
Oh my … yes! Nothing like family to make us forget the adult we’ve become since the time they were the only eyes we saw the world through. This is inspiration. Thank you.