It’s 9am on Monday and I’m already feeling a teensy bit of overwhelm about my week. I have a horrendous habit of thinking things will take me half as long as they actually do. My daughter is out of school at noon all week for parent-teacher conferences so my work days are cut in half and my office is in the midst of a re-org that has everything spread out on the floor.

So to keep my sanity, my sense of humor and to aid with my new moon intention of making the choice that makes me happiest, I’m scheduling in dance breaks. I’m setting my alarm for a couple of random times throughout the day so I can stop and dance it out. Because the combination of some favorite music and moving my body always makes me feel better.

I invite you to join me in dancing it out this week. Whether you’re flying high or feeling blue, music and movement are two of the most powerful ways to either celebrate or shift your mood. And when I say dance, I mean you can sit in your chair or lie on your bed and move your arms or bob your head or wiggle your fingers and toes if that’s all your body is capable of. Or you can join me in a full out booty shake or three minutes of interpretive modern dance.

You don’t have to pick happy music. You can dance it out to angry music, to music that allows you to release your tears, to music that connects you to beauty or peace or a deep desire. You can dance to silence or spoken words. You know what you need.

So dance with me this week. You’ll be in good company…

I believe it is in my nature to dance by virtue of the beat of my heart, the pulse of my blood and the music in my mind. ~ Robert Fulghum

Dance is for everybody. I believe that the dance came from the people and that it should always be delivered back to the people. ~ Alvin Ailey

When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way. ~ Wayne Dyer

The dance can reveal everything mysterious that is hidden in music, and it has the additional merit of being human and palpable. Dancing is poetry with arms and legs. ~ Charles Baudelaire

I have a sick child at home today and am still recovering from the-cold-that-will-not-end. Plans have been thrown out the window and this week’s mantra is now simply, Breathe, Stay Present, Look for the Gifts.

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Walking Home: A Pilgrimage from Humbled to Healed
by Sonia Choquette

I loved Cheryl Strayed’s Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail so when I saw that Sonia Choquette had a new book with a similar theme, I grabbed it for two reasons.  Sonia is a world class intuitive and spiritual teacher whose memoir, Diary of a Psychic, was one of the first books I read when my intuitive abilities started to open up. Though my path is very different than hers, in reading her story I felt like I’d found a mentor. The second reason was that I was fascinated at how someone who was hugely successful in the spiritual world had a personal life that was such a hot mess.

Exhausted and in emotional pain over the ending of numerous relationships, including her marriage, Sonia feels called to walk the ancient pilgrimage route of the Camino de Santiago across France and Spain. The book is a composite of the daily details of her walk – what she ate, what her hostels were like, who she befriended and what happened to her toes – and her emotional releases and spiritual realizations.

She talks of being shamed for her feelings by her parents, the nuns at her Catholic school and by spiritual teachers. I have railed against this for years. The “spiritual bypass” is deeply harmful and the only way through our difficult feelings is to experience them fully so they can be released. This might seem obvious but with the popularity of (distorted) Law of Attraction ideas, and “just think positive thoughts” bull-poopy alongside cultural conditioning such as “good girls don’t get angry” or “boys don’t cry” so many people feel horrible about feeling horrible.

The magic of the Camino finally allows Sonia to release her pain and the healing she experiences is so profound the skeptic in me raised an eyebrow. In all fairness she does wonder if she’ll be able to hold on to the peace and forgiveness she feels once she leaves the sacred space of the Camino, but clearly she is deeply and forever changed.

She is also realistic about what it will take to return to her life. I loved this section on ego:

I had no illusions that I was done with my ego. I knew it would, again and again, try to run my life, as I was only human. I knew it would flare up when I was tired or feeling insecure, or felt afraid to be seen. Only now, I knew how to tame it. There was only one way. I had to love myself fully and conditionally. I had to have compassion for myself and be sensitive and responsive to my authentic needs. I had to pray daily for guidance and give myself the time and space to nurture my spirit and enjoy my life. I had to stay present in the moment and not leap into the future or fall back into the past. That was a tall order, but I knew it would bring me peace.

I also needed to stop seeing my ego as “the enemy” and start seeing it was the “me” who needed more love. I didn’t have to fight my ego when it flared up in pain. I needed to soothe and calm my ego, handing it over to the care of my spirit and to God to quiet down and reassure.

This is so lovely. We can’t be human and not have egos (despite what some spiritual teachers try to tell us) but we can be less driven by them. And that is what brings greater peace and joy into our lives. Deep breath. Yes.

Sonia’s writing is honest and engaging. I don’t know that many people of her stature in the spiritual world would write so candidly about their personal and emotional struggles. It’s a lovely reminder that we are all human (and not to be placed on pedestals) and that we all have our particular lessons to learn. Because she is so warm and open, after finishing I immediately downloaded samples of several of her other books. I feel like I can trust her because she doesn’t pretend to be perfect or have it all figured out.

I’ve also added several other books on the Camino to my wish list. Unlike Wild, where I thoroughly enjoyed myself but had no interest in hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, I can feel a little internal tug to walk the Camino myself one day. I guess we’ll see what the future brings.

Walking Home: A Pilgrimage from Humbled to Healed is a fascinating glimpse into the healing power of the Camino de Santiago and the magic, mess and wisdom of the human mind and heart.

I had my business credit card numbers stolen recently. Someone Ubered around LA and ordered $75 dollars worth of takeout.

After the initial surprise of the discovery wore off and I’d called the bank to report the charges, I sat there wondering about how it feels to be someone who commits a crime, and how underneath the joyride feeling of getting away with something, there’s got to be a deep sense of not okay-ness. Of missing something or needing something or wanting something that you don’t know how to get any other way.

And my thoughts turned to a prayer of forgiveness and a wish for them. May you find what you’re looking for, what you need. May you be given the lessons that allow you to fill the hole in a way that serves others instead of taking away from others. May you find happiness. May your inner light shine.

May you find what you’re looking for.

I whisper this prayer to a woman I know who is desperately searching for herself and whose actions in that pursuit tug on old stories in me.

I send it out to our political leaders who are making decisions based on hatred and fear.

I say it silently to myself when I’m staring into the cupboard, knowing that what I need can’t be found in food.

It’s my simplified, on-the-go version of the loving-kindness prayer, and it feels so much better than hanging on to anger.

I invite you to say it with me this week. Come up with your own version or do the full loving-kindness meditation. The important thing is to make it work for you.

Today, be kind to yourself.

Today, be kind to those around you.

Be kind in your thoughts, words and actions.

It takes a little effort at first, some awareness, conscious choices. But it gets easier.

Today, be kind. From your heart.

You might just change a life.

It could be your own.