Reverb10. December 18.

Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? (from Kaileen Elise)

This post begins with an explosion of bittersweet laughter.

In 2010 I tried to take a dance class. I broke my leg.

In 2010 I tried to have a baby. He died.

In 2010 I loved, grieved, forgave, received my Reiki I attunement, worked with amazing coaches, made friends, lost friends, moved homes, shed objects and pounds (more to go), began a 1000 day meditation practice, began writing daily, started hooping, went back to yoga, said yes, said no, listened to my heart, listened to others, pushed myself too hard, stepped back, fought and welcomed change.

I’m working to eliminate try from my vocabulary. When I use it, I’ve already got one foot out the door. It’s a way to avoid making a decision. I’ll try but…I’m not committing, anything could happen.

So what do I want to try in 2011? Picking up my guitar and learning to play. Practicing with my hoop so I look semi-competent. Putting photos in albums or making digital books. Getting reacquainted with my sewing machine. Maybe I’ll even get out on a boogie board one of these days.

What will I do in 2011? Write. Meditate. Love. Dance. Cry. Grow. Heal. Make a home. Be mama to my daughter. Strengthen my marriage. Deepen my spiritual practice. Sing. Breathe deeply. Watch the sun set over the ocean as many times as I can. Make delicious food. Move my body back to health. Read brilliant books. Forge ever deeper connections. These things I commit to. There is no try when every fiber of my being vibrates to yes.