Welcome to Transformation Talk. Every Thursday for a year, I’ll post an interview with someone who is a force for good in the world. These men and women have either deepened their passion or found their calling after experiencing a loss, trauma or diagnosis.
I want to broaden the conversation around grief and it’s transformative power. My hope is that in their words you’ll find echoes of your story. In their inspired actions, you’ll see yourself and your immense possibility.
*Special Request: The technology of Skype is amazing and imperfect. Please listen with your heart and forgive the occasional blips on the screen.
Today’s interview is with Staci Boden, healing practitioner, energy worker and author of the recently released book, Turning Dead Ends into Doorways: How to Grow Through Whatever Life Throws Your Way. I’ll have a review of Staci’s book posted next week, but as you’ll be able to tell from the video, I think it’s wonderful.
Staci and I talk about strong women, fear, grief, joy and how her daughter’s medical diagnosis rocked her world as she finished writing the book. (Plus she shares a really fun fact about herself at the end!)
Leave a comment below to be entered into the drawing for a copy of Staci’s book. Winner will be chosen on Wednesday October 31 and will be notified via email as well as here on the blog.
Staci Boden is a San Francisco-based author, healing practitioner, and energy worker. Her book, Turning Dead Ends into Doorways: How to Grow Through Whatever Life Throws Your Way (Conari Press, 2012), introduces eight teachers for navigating daily life unknowns: fear, awareness, choice, body, intuition, energy, intention and surrender. Through her company, Dancing-Tree Consulting, Staci sees private clients as well as leads personal and spiritual development workshops. To learn more, visit Staci’s website, meet on facebook or connect via twitter.
If you are receiving this via email, remember to click through the title to watch the video.
I’ve got goosebumps listening . . . Love what you say about fear, how futile it is to spend life and energy trying to kick it to the curb when it has so much to teach us. Love what you say about control, too. And following energy. Like Alana, I am nodding and saying Yes . . . Yes . . . Yes, with the occasional Of course, just to shake things up. And about that surprise ending? LOVE.
Thank you, Jeanne! I didn’t know that inviting a conversation with fear would be considered radical, and yes, learning how to follow energy takes practice but is well worth the investment, in ourselves. Glad you like the surprise :). Blessings to you.
It’s always rubbed my fur the wrong way when I hear folks wag a tongue telling us to confront our fear and get over our fear and all that kind of stuff. Just never took the time to think about why that riled me so, till today. Thank you.
Wow; you had me at “the privilege of health”!! Too few people recognize that as a privilege, in my opinion.
I cannot WAIT to get my hands on this book. As someone who deals with anxiety, I yearn to understand more about “following the fear,” and having a conversation with it, letting it guide you and focusing on the “how am I going to get through this” rather than wallowing around in the self-pitying “why is this happening?” Like Jeanne and Alana, I found myself nodding “yes, yes” over and over.
Thank you both for a resonating, fascinating talk!
Thank you, Ann.
I feel like anxiety is a huge and virtually silent epidemic in our country. People don’t understand how frustrating and truly debilitating it can be. Once it’s clear that we’re being gentle and responsible in approaching anxiety, I find it helpful to work with it as uncomfortable energy to learn how to navigate around and through. This is a longer conversation than a blog comment can contain, so feel free to call me if you want more information. I’m reachable through my website.
Blessings to you.
Staci
http://www.dancing-tree.com
Alana, I don’t know how you manage to do this every single week, but let me tell you once again what an amazing job you’re doing!!
Staci, I took a deep, deep sigh when I heard about your childhood and how the illness of your mom shaped your path in such a significant and powerful way. My greatest worry with my two boys (3 and 4), since my husband has been diagnosed with acute leukemia and has undergone a stem cell transplantation, is that they are negatively affected by all of it. That they are suffering because of the situation and because of what their parents cannot give them anymore. However, hearing you talk, made me see how I could also change that view and think that we’re showing them that we aren’t giving up the battle no matter what. That love is what gets us through this and that they can always count on that. I pray that when they are older, they will remember our determination and strength and not our fatigue and frustration.
Sending both of you love and gratitude from Amsterdam!
Dearest Roos,
First, I am so very sorry for what you and your family are going through. Cancer just sucks. When cancer came into my life via my teenage daughter’s diagnosis, I wanted to kill it, shred it, tear it to pieces. No one messes with my baby girl! But then I realized that hating cancer would give it too much power. So instead, I’ve treated it as an unwelcome guest in our lives that we’ve had to get to know so we can boot it out the door.
As the mother of a cancer survivor, as the daughter of a legally blind woman, one thing I’m learning is that how we hold painful realities or loss swings the pendulum away from victimhood and into empowerment. My mom modeled empowerment but we didn’t live in denial either. She wasn’t a saint and we had our moments. So I hope you remember to be patient with yourself. It takes time to grow our sea legs in holding unimaginable realities.
I wish you and your family grace. If you want to email me your names privately, I’d like to hold you all in my heart.
Thanks for sharing. It fuels my faith to be received, you know?
Love and gratitude back,
Staci
[email protected]
Ps. and do count me in for the giveaway, I almost forgot 🙂
I so want to nod, highlight and write in the margins!
Oh for balance, power and compassion. I seem to be on sabbatical from them since grief entered life again.
Sounds like this book could be my friend, my teacher, my guide back to some sanity in these times of learning to live without the day to day love of my partner who now loves us from spirit.
This is a book that I want for myself, my younger sister and several girlfriends. Wow.
Alana, as always, such a fan of your writing and endeavors.
Best,
Melissa
Thank you for another informative session, Alana! I’m finding myself settling in on the topic of following our emotions and the value of fear. Very interested in reading this book and glad to learn about it and your work Andrea.
Wow ~ this really resonated with my heart. I could only view 6 mins of the video before it blipped out, but that’s ok, cause I feel really excited that this book would be wonderful for me, right now on my journey. Just to fill you in a little, my son Ashley passed away 8 months ago, he was only 23 years old. As you may understand this has been a very difficult journey for myself and my husband and other 2 children. Our whole lives have been changed and as much as I am grieving and deeply saddened by the loss of my beautiful son, somewhere deep in my being I feel the only way for me to somehow make a life and get through this tragedy, is to somehow embrace this with some sort of gratitude/forgiveness. Somedays I just feel the loss soooo much, its all I can do to get through the day, other days I am just a little more positive and hopeful that we will come through this, with my son in my heart and live our lives in his honour. Just trying to navigate through this, such rocky and unpredictable territory as best I can. I think this book “Turning Deadends into doorways” by Staci, would be a great tool for me on my journey. Anyway thanking you for inspiring me and giving me something positive to hold onto. Regards Janelle Teague
Dear Janelle,
My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you didn’t get far into the video but in it later on I share that towards the end of writing my book, my teenage daughter was diagnosed with cancer. There’s nothing more shattering that facing the loss of a child. Even though our daughter is in remission, life will never be certain again.
There is certainly a balance between experiencing loss in an authentic way and honoring your son’s life through remembering happiness. I trust you are in beautiful hands here with Alana and how she holds grief and transformation. And yes, the heart of my book is about navigating through all parts of life, especially the bumpy ones, to find your way home to yourself.
I wish you peace, gentleness and whatever it is you feel you most need right now in your life.
Staci
Dear Janelle,
Please contact me with your email address so we can get you your winning copy of the book!
with much love,
Alana
Wow ~ this really resonated with my heart. I could only view 6 mins of the video before it blipped out, but that’s ok, cause I feel really excited that this book would be wonderful for me, right now on my journey. Just to fill you in a little, my son Ashley passed away 8 months ago, he was only 23 years old. As you may understand this has been a very difficult journey for myself and my husband and other 2 children. Our whole lives have been changed and as much as I am grieving and deeply saddened by the loss of my beautiful son, somewhere deep in my being I feel the only way for me to somehow make a life and get through this tragedy, is to somehow embrace this with some sort of gratitude/forgiveness. Somedays I just feel the loss soooo much, its all I can do to get through the day, other days I am just a little more positive and hopeful that we will come through this, with my son in my heart and live our lives in his honour. Just trying to navigate through this, such rocky and unpredictable territory as best I can. I think this book “Turning Deadends into doorways” by Staci, would be a great tool for me on my journey. Anyway thanking you for inspiring me and giving me something positive to hold onto. Regards Janelle Teague
Thanks, Alana – Staci is completely new to me. I’m really looking forward to watching this and reading her book! Sounds like we have much in common…
Dear Christa,
I just finished watching the first part of your video about Women Heal. Wow. And yes, it sounds like we have much in common. Thank you for all you’re doing for women.
Blessings,
Staci
[email protected]
I’m thinking that Staci’s book would be a great help for my daughter. She came into this world prematurely, alone in an isolette for a month she fought for her life in a world that was not “friendly.” One would think that this experience would make her strong, but instead she is filled with fears and anxieties and at times wants to leave this world. She fights, avoids, and tries to control her fears which takes so much energy. I’m hoping that your book would give her a new way to interact with fear without her needing to exert so much control. Thank you, Staci, for writing it. Bless you.
Dear Sharon,
Thanks so much for sharing. Yes, fear and the control we try to exert to try to silence fear is so draining. If your daughter is dealing with anxiety, fear of fear, I encourage you to move slowly. Inviting a conversation with fear can seem radical for people with anxiety (because they’ve spent so much time trying to avoid fear).
Also, it sounds like there may be some trauma here that points toward professional support. The book would be a good start because your daughter can self-regulate her relationship with reading it, but she may also need more direct care.
It’s not easy when we see our children heading down a path we know is not for their highest good. So much about mothering involves surrendering.
I wish you both all the best.
Bless you too!
Staci
And the winner of Staci’s wonderful book is Janelle! I’ll be contacting you via email to get your mailing address.