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On Being a Light in the Darkness, step 1

April 1, 2016 By Alana

Based on the December 21st Create Your Magical Life podcast, I’m (slowly) writing a series of posts on how to strengthen your light when it seems like the world around you is falling into darkness.

Light in the Dark

Step 1: Look for the Light

There’s a saying in new-age-law-of-attraction-speak that what we focus on grows, so we want to be aware of where we are putting our attention, steering it away from what we don’t want. There’s also a truth that ignoring or repressing our shadow – the darker side of being human – only gives it more power and allows it to wreak havoc unchecked.

Somehow we have to find the middle way.

We need to acknowledge the pain, the war, the terror, the atrocities committed against children, animals, the earth and each other, allowing our feelings about these things to pass through us. At the same time, it’s helpful to focus on finding and acknowledging all the good and the beauty in the world.

Some practical things to do:

Read inspiring news stories. Watch those videos on Facebook that make you cry because they’re full of hope and love and tenderness. Listen to TED talks or podcasts that inspire you, even if they’re about difficult topics. Look for people who are providing solutions.

One of the most disturbing books I’ve ever read was Half the Sky by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, because it chronicles the violence committed against women worldwide. But for each horrific topic they share the stories of people who are making a difference. As hard as I cried and raged against the cruelty, I was left with a real sense of hope because we humans are SURVIVORS.

Most of us do care, we do want to make the world a better place. Curate your social media feeds, your blog reader and news channels. Make space for hope and possibility when you log online. This doesn’t mean sticking your head in the sand and ignoring everything that’s happening in the world. It does mean that you are allowed to take care of yourself in the midst of it all.

Notice if you’re going down the rabbit hole of negativity. Pause, take a deep breath, and check in to see how it’s affecting you. Is your body clenched and tight? Your heart heavy? Are you filled with rage or despair? Breathe and feel the feelings, without spinning in the story.

You can choose to allow the anger to move you to action (write a letter or blog post, start a petition, donate money to a cause or search for a volunteer opportunity) or you can choose to turn toward something else – something lighter or more life-affirming. Something that reminds you there is hope and goodness available in even the worst of situations. Hug a child. Help a friend. Snuggle your favorite four-legged family member and immerse yourself in their unconditional love.

Look for warm smiles and kind words when you are out in the world. You might have to look hard, but love is always there. Instead of simply cringing at the homeless man sleeping under his coat, notice the way his dog is curled up against him. They might not have much but they have each other.

Practice being with the ugliness and the beauty at the same time, the despair and the hope, the disillusionment and the wonder. Your heart is big enough to hold it all.

Practice looking for and taking in the good stuff. Let it have as much weight in you as the bad does. You might need to carry a little notebook with you and take notes about what you see so you can remember it later. Go over it before you fall asleep. Hold it close.

And when you find your truest pain places, the ones that you can’t sit still with because they make you ache so deeply, know that is where your place of action lies.

I’ll talk more about that in the next post.

I’d love to know: What light have you seen lately?

Oracle Sunday: Step Away From the Drama

May 31, 2015 By Alana

From the Ascended Masters Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.
From the Ascended Masters Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

Pallas Athena (also known simply as Athena) is the Greek goddess of wisdom, war and craftsmanship. She was known for being just and compassionate, for using wisdom to avoid conflicts and for her courage when called upon in battle.

Her message today is to take a deep breath and step back from whatever human drama has its hooks in you.

It’s not your job to make everyone happy. It’s not your place to make other people’s choices for them. It’s not in your best interest to gossip or judge others.

Press pause on the story you’re telling yourself about it all. Imagine yourself circling above your life like an eagle, or looking back five years from now. What’s really important to you? What do you think might actually be happening if you look at the big picture?

Can you set down the need to be right and see the situation from everyone’s point of view?

Sometimes that’s not emotionally possible, but it can be helpful to try.

And if the hooks are in too deep and you can’t step back, then it might be time to take bigger action.

For a long time I had a friend whose decisions I was completely over-invested in. When I disagreed with her choices, I couldn’t stop judging her, or arguing with her in my head, or discussing the situation with people who would tell me how right I was. It was awful and I didn’t like the person I became around her. Even though I loved her, I had to let her go in order to step away from the drama. It was painful and I am a much happier person for it.

What do you need to do in order to detach from any drama in your life?

Even if you can’t bring yourself to do it right now, it’s helpful to have an answer. And if an answer doesn’t come, it’s helpful to keep asking the question (then listening to your heart).

As humans we are attracted to the emotional rollercoaster ride of a dramatic story. It can make us feel alive. It also hurts us to be wrapped up in it. And if we are hurting, we tend to hurt others in turn.

This card is a message to leave the drama to the movies you watch or the books you read and instead focus on being the person you really want to be in all of your interactions. 

Like Athena use your hard-earned wisdom to avoid conflict wherever possible. And when it’s unavoidable, step into it with compassion, courage and the strength that comes from knowing you’re not attached to the story everyone else is buying into.

Card copyrights belong to their respective authors, artists, and publishers, and are used for example purposes. I encourage you to purchase the deck(s) that speak to you and get to know them on your own.

 

P. S. Are you struggling to feel compassion for yourself and others? Not sure exactly how to step back from the drama or listen to your heart’s (or intuition’s) messages? My Shine e-book is full of simple, bite-sized practices that will help you learn to do exactly that…and so much more.

Mantra Monday: Notice. Breathe. Pray. (A mantra in 3 parts)

December 22, 2014 By Alana

Notice, Breath, Pray

Wherever you are and whatever you celebrate, we are in the thick of a season that can be both beautiful and brutal.

Expectations. Emotional triggers. Hopes fulfilled or dashed.

This is high season for magic and sadness, for gratitude and anger, for dreams and regret.

Let’s get through it with as much grace as possible, shall we?

Notice.

Notice what’s happening in the moment: your reactions, your feelings, the way you’re shutting the door on too much joy or focusing on someone else’s most annoying habits. Just notice, without judging it as good or bad, healthy or not.

Breathe.

Whether it’s once deeply, or 5 times with your hand on your heart like my friend Liz Lamoreux practices and teaches, or more times than you can count, stop and breathe. Take yourself out of a stressful situation if you need to. The bathroom is always a good excuse, as is needing fresh air. Let your belly fill and your chest rise. Notice that moment at the point of fullness where the breath is suspended, then slowly let it all go. Repeat as necessary, making space for any emotions that surface, doing your best to let any unhelpful repetitive thoughts float away.

Pray.

By which I mean Ask for Help.

Dear Universe, please help me keep my mouth shut and get through this day in one piece.

Okay Spirit, I really need you to help me see the things I love about these people instead of the things that make me want to run screaming from the room.

Dear God, please help me act with compassion and understanding. Help me keep my heart and eyes open to what lies underneath the surface. Help me see the beauty that I know is present in everyone and everything, even when it’s hidden under a steaming pile of dysfunction.

If there’s someone you can ask for support, do that too.

Hey little brother, can you kick me under the table every time I start to open my mouth at dinner?

Husband, would you take a walk with me and hold my hand? I just need some quiet company.

Friend, will you come to this event with me? I have to go but I don’t know if I can do it alone.

Notice. Breathe. Pray.

Then love yourself through all of it. Because you are enough, and worthy of love, just as you are.

And if your holiday season is lovely and bright, and all your dreams come true, you can still use the mantra. Notice the joy. Breathe it in. Let your prayer be one of gratitude. 

*****

P.S. If you’re on my newsletter list, I’ve got a gift coming for you next weekend that will support you in starting 2015 off with more grace, peace and joy. If you’re not on the list and you’d like to sign up to receive it, you can do that in the upper right hand corner.

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