Yesterday morning I woke to pictures of my cousin’s new baby boy in my inbox. I smiled. He’s beautiful. Grief sat squarely on my chest.
I ignored it. I thought about everything I needed to get done. I began to suffer.
My husband recognized the look in my eye, the set of my jaw, and the shortness of my replies. He suggested a solution. Sometimes that goes well, sometimes not. Today it was perfect. The dark cloud began to lighten but I wasn’t ready to cry.
I took time for myself. I asked for direction. I opened a book.
Can you imagine how it would feel if your heart were open, if everywhere you went, you trusted, were relaxed, and knew that the universe was friendly? How would your life flow if you believed that your inner guidance was gentle and kind, and that people were sending you love wherever you went, and that you yourself broadcast a beam of love like a circle around you to everyone? How would your life change if whenever someone said something to you, no matter how it came out, you could recognize the love or need for love behind it? — from Living With Joy by Sanaya Roman
I sat for a moment and thought about love. I relaxed. I remembered that everything will be okay, even when it feels like it won’t. I got to work. I cried.
*****
Today is a big day for me. Let me tell you why.
Picking Up the Pieces: thoughts on grief and growth is available for download. If you’re grieving, or know someone who is, consider this my gentle nudge to read it. It’s free, it’s beautiful and it just might change your life.
I’m also announcing the Picking Up the Pieces Retreat – 3 days and 4 nights that’ll knock your socks off. If you wear socks. This one’s not free but it will be beautiful and it’s definitely going to change your life.
Lastly, I am moving this blog to a self-hosted site. This is way out of my comfort zone and I’m hoping it goes smoothly. Please be patient with me if you encounter any difficulties. If you’re receiving this via email, let me say thank you (!) and let you know that you’ll want to sign up at the new site in order to keep receiving blog posts. But I’m still figuring that out, so I’ll let you know when it’s ready.
Here’s to life – let’s really live it.
An ebook ánd a retreat: boy, you knock my socks off already!! You are the ultimate example of how you can turn your grief into something so much bigger – who would have thought you would do all of this less than a year ago?
I went to visit a possible school for my eldest, all across town, and decided to take the tram in order to gain some reading time. So there I sat, with a huge pile of printed paper and read and read and read…, untill I was all shaken up by the beauty of your words (and the others as well of course).
Thank you for looking within and for finding the courage to act upon your hearts desire! You are a life changer!!
Sending HUGE congratulations on the book and retreat and new website, and I cannot wait to read the book. I hate to be able to even say this, but your grief is such a gift to us all. Feeling the profound wonder and strangeness of that right now.
Thank you for writing your Ebook! I came here through Roos and already on the first page I’ve read a key sentence for me right now. “…when your life is a mess, why not
pick up the pieces and put them back the way you want them?…”
Thank you for sharing your grief.
Love, Rianne
I can hardly wait to read the book. I lost my mother when I was only 4 and my journey with the grief from that has only recently begun (long story). So your book (congratulations!) is timely. And this post just filled me this morning with the kind of sustenance I needed. If I could I would come to your retreat, in a heartbeat. Alas, Ottawa Canada is just too far for this one.
How would your life change if whenever someone said something to you, no matter how it came out, you could recognize the love or need for love behind it? —
This is great. Profound. Thank you.
Good Luck with your blog switch, and book, and workshop!
M K
Hi Alana,
Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us! I am so grateful to have found you and I look forward to savoring your ebook. As I write this, I am sitting in my dad’s hospital room–he is going on hospice care today.
With love,
Tara