We talked about taking the Christmas tree down. The very thought brings me to tears. Taking the ornaments off, putting them away – it’s as though in doing so I will say goodbye to my son in a new way. As though I’ll have to put him in a box too, now that we’ve survived the first Christmas without him.
It’s illogical, but still –
I am not ready.
How about you keep one ornament, one very special only to you, and not put that one away? Instead hang it on your desk or another “you place”. Simply to look at and let your mind wander from time to time.
Don’t be too hard on yourself in wanting to make a clear cut from 2010 altogether.
And that is absolutely fine. You don’t have to be ready yet. One tiny, tiny step at a time, love.
Oh, Alana! I understand.
Remember how I wrote to you about feeling sad that at the end of 2010, as I could no longer refer to myself as having been pregnant “last year.”
Holding you and your boy in my heart,
Renee
Alana, if you are not ready then don’t take it down. Wait a few more days, a week if you can and see how you feel- something may come to you that will help you through this transition. Sending you love and strength.
Mine is not going down until the weekend before my surgery (in Feb. LOL) and that is normal around here. I love it and I love it to be lit when I am watching movies. I love it even more now that I have ornaments that mean so much to me. Take is slow girl – you’re allowed 🙂 (((hugs)))