I finally finished my vision board for 2011. It’s so different from last year’s I’m in a state of shock.

Here’s 2010:

My husband made this the background on our computer. I hung it on the wall. I’ve seen it every day this past year. It’s helped me through some rough moments. I’ve fallen in love with it.

Change – though much desired – is often a kick in the pants.

I wonder what I’ll say about this one in January of 2012.

Please forgive the crooked photo.

The words bottom right say, What makes my life real simple

Happy New Year. I raise a glass to the journey.

We talked about taking the Christmas tree down. The very thought brings me to tears. Taking the ornaments off, putting them away – it’s as though in doing so I will say goodbye to my son in a new way. As though I’ll have to put him in a box too, now that we’ve survived the first Christmas without him.

It’s illogical, but still –

I am not ready.

The other night, just before I signed off for celebratory champagne with hubby, I happened to see intuitive extraordinaire, Bridget Pilloud‘s invitation to pick a color for 2011.

So I did.

In my manifesto cheat sheet, I claimed orange as my power color for 2011. I made the choice more specific and left Bridget a note.

Here’s what she had to say:

Alana, your colors are sitting square between the 2nd and 3rd chakra, with an added burst of divine vibration. This is the place of creativity and power combined, with some lessons about self-esteem thrown in for good measure.

This is the color of the new day. Heat shimmers, and there will be times when you wonder whether you’re enough for this year, (not in a bad way, just, it’s going to be busy). You are enough. You will not be consumed by the flames. Instead, allow yourself to be a conduit and let life move through you.

Wow.

She’s closed her comments to specific color requests but you can check out what she’s saying about colors here.

But before you do – close your eyes, take a deep breath and let a color for 2011 float into your mind.

May it be brilliant.

…and what a year it has been.

Reverb10. December 31.

Core story. What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.) (from Molly O’Neill)

Digging deeper – always

Growing

More love – there can never be enough love

Letting go then

hanging on

Finding trust

Finding my feet

Again and again

Finding my way

Another detour

and another

until I learn there is no such thing

Spiraling into myself

ever deeper

finding truth

finding trust

finding power

finding gentleness

Learning yes

then no

Sharing more than many want to hear

Sharing myself

Holding space

Holding hands

Seeking

Growing

Digging deeper

Holding hands

Holding space

Learning to love

Myself.

*****

Thank you to Cali, Kaileen and Gwen for being the driving force behind Reverb10. Thank you to all the prompt authors for making me look ever deeper. Mostly, thank you to those who witness what I write. Your presence here is a gift I treasure.

I wish you a year of excellent health, great happiness and big-dreams-come-true.

with love and gratitude,

Alana