I am down with a horrible cold. I can’t remember the last time I was this sick. It makes me feel like no time has passed since my broken leg, my morning sickness, my bed rest, the surgery. I wonder if I’ve ever been healthy.
If there’s one thing I learned in 2010 it was how to take care of myself. So that’s what I’m doing. As much as possible with an active preschooler. And I know I will be healthy again soon.
Lying in bed last night, coughing, sneezing and waiting for sleep to put me out of my misery, I read my daily dose of Lindsey’s words at A Design so Vast – a beautiful letter to her son on his sixth birthday. As I came to the last line, the wave washed over me.
I will never get to write this letter to Ben.
Oh. Alana. I am so sorry. This makes me weep. My thoughts are with you. I regret causing you any pain at all.
I responded to Lindsey privately but I wanted to say publicly that she did not cause me pain. The sadness of loss is a part of my life – of all of our lives – and no one can make that better or worse. We control how we react to what life hands us. And Lindsey’s love letter to her son touched me deeply. I am always touched by her words – it’s one of her many gifts.
I hope you feel better soon Alana! (((hugs)))