Steve said to me once, after a particularly wrenching cry, It seems as though, sometimes, you are mourning more than Benjamin’s death.
I think he might be right.
There are times when the sadness overwhelms, and my body leaps and shudders under the weight of my tears, that I see flashes of other times, other places, other losses.
I wonder if I’ve ever fully grieved anything.
I wonder if I can do it this time.