I remember

Reverb10. December 15.

5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (from Patti Digh, author of Creative is a Verb)

I want to remember…

Love. love love love love love.

Flowering of spirit. Laughter til it hurt.

Asking for and receiving help. Sometimes from the most surprising people.

The fear. I want to remember the lessons fear taught so I don’t have to live them again.

Spirit. How the Divine showed up. The peace I felt the night Ben died. The invisible hand on my shoulder letting me know I was not alone.

The gifts I was given. Gifts of time, of strength, of weakness. Gifts of service from others. The gift of space to lay my head. Gifts of support on the darkest days.

I want to remember dolphins and sunshine on waves and sunsets on the beach. I want to remember the way my husband looked when he looked at me with smiling eyes. I want to remember the crinkle of my daughter’s nose. The way she called her new Minnie Mouse purse picture perfect and announced that her dad was giving us the business. The way those moments made us laugh with our hearts open and our heads thrown back.

I want to remember the weight of my tiny son on my chest. His perfect body. Born too soon and without breath.

And I want to remember the moment this afternoon when I opened the box containing an ornament with his name on it, lovingly made and sent by another baby lost mama halfway across the world. I want to remember the curves of his name, the tears in my eyes and the voices of my husband and daughter from another room, suddenly singing along to Louis Armstrong.

Oh, what a wonderful world.

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0 Responses to I remember

  1. I remember love. I remember love. I remember love.

    I remember Benjamin. How I love writing his name.

    I remember Marlena. How I love writing her name.

    I remember love. I remember Alana. I remember love.

    I remember picture perfect giving business sweetness

    I remember husband’s love, daughter’s love, life’s love.

    I am grateful YOU remembered.

    I am grateful YOU shared.

    I am grateful Benjamin lived as he lived.

    I am grateful for connection.

    I remember.

  2. Dian Reid says:

    ditto what julie jordan scott said.

    cheers to you and all your remembering.

  3. MrsWhich says:

    And now you have brought tears to my eyes. The strength of your spirit enhances us all.

  4. Julie Daley says:

    Alana,
    I don’t really know what to write after reading this. It is incredibly beautiful. and full. My heart is full after reading your words. That is all. And, love, too.

  5. Alana says:

    I love you all. Thank you.

  6. Mandi says:

    Absolutely lovely and moving, thank you for sharing.

  7. Brad says:

    Gawd… it isn’t often I’m moved by these posts. This moved me. I can’t begin to imagine but where you’ve taken this I think is absolutely incredible.

  8. Stereo says:

    Oh Alana, this is so utterly moving. You are so brave for sharing. Thank you so much.

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