The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
-Albert Einstein

There is a voice deep inside you that is speaking to you right now. It is telling you of your truths, of your deepest desires, of thing you’ve forgotten you know. Are you listening?

Before I became pregnant with Ben, I thought I was paying attention to my intuition and in many ways, I was. I trusted it when it told me to walk down one street and not another at night. I listened when it told me to move to California, to stay with my husband when things fell apart, to go back to school. But I ignored it too – when it whispered that I didn’t want that next glass of wine, or piece of cake. When my body ached to express itself through movement and I decided that was part of my past. When I clung desperately to habits that I knew were not in line with who I wanted to be and the life I wanted to live.

Then there was Benjamin.

My son taught me life-altering lessons in the 5 months he lived and grew inside me. He showed me the power of my thoughts and how utterly powerless they were too. He proved to me that I was not alone on this journey called life, even when there was no one else in the room. He forced me to recognize my own value in the beautiful way others showed up to take care of me. He taught me the fullness of letting go. With his death, he made me listen.

In the immediate aftermath of his stillbirth, I knew I wanted to allow grief to transform my life. I didn’t know what that would look like, but I did not ever want to repeat the lesson and my belief was that if I listened to that deep, knowing voice, allowing it more space in my life, I could not go wrong. It told me to write publicly about my experience – I listened. It told me to become a Reiki Master – I began to walk that path. It urged me to take better care of myself and while I still struggle with that many days, I listen more often than not – without guilt.  There are moments when my intuition gets lost in the shuffle of getting things done and taking care of my family’s needs. But it always resurfaces quickly. Allowing more room for that voice of truth has meant that when I am out of alignment with it, I suffer. And I am done with suffering. I’ve had enough.

I get quiet. I listen. I grow.  It is a sacred gift.

This entry was posted in Life After Benjamin. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Intuition

  1. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post. You are taking many thoughts right out of my head. : )

    I am going to share this post on my FB page, for it is that powerful.

    Love to you!

  2. Roos says:

    Your blog was the sole inspiration for me to continue to write after my world fell apart. And through writing (and the dear friends I’ve made because of it!), my world is slowly coming together again.
    Hurrah for bringing suffering to an end!
    love from Amsterdam -x-

  3. Christa says:

    I have goosebumps. This is so beautiful and so very true. And hopeful, really hopeful. Will share so that your inspiration can go out to many…

    And this quote – a favorite for a long time – so clearly sums up our world today.

    Beautifully written, Alana. Thank you.

    Love to you.

  4. Mynde says:

    so totally here with you. enough already. i’m ready to live from the subtle regions of my being, trusting my inner guidance all the way.

    xxmm 🙂

  5. I linked to your piece here:

    By the way, did I tell you I’m also a Reiki Master?? More synchronicity!

  6. Your blog is so inspirational.Thank you for sharing it here and hoping to come back for more.Meanwhile plz do check my blog on freeing your mind read it,follow,be inspired and comment to improve my works too.Have a wonderful day.

  7. Pamela says:

    Wow. This was amazingly beautiful. It just keeps getting better here! I really needed this, so thank you! Lindsey and I were “talking” today about learning to listen to ourselves and she posted something along the same lines … interesting how we all need to hear the same things at times.

    Alana, you are teaching me so much through this gorgeous blog – thank you!

  8. Pingback: Roving Robin Report – Fabulousity for the Fifth Week in April

  9. I was referred to your blog, by a reader of mine. And it was such a blessing that I was. Your writing is beautiful and inspiring. You have said what I have felt and have strived to put into words.
    You are not alone in your grief. It doesn’t make it better, but feeling less alone has helped me some.
    I have been struggling with what I call my wellness journey, which started with grief. I am trying to listen to my body, and to heal in many ways…
    I will keep you in my prayers and am subscribing to your blog, so that I can continue to follow your journey and your beautiful lessons and words

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *