Doing the dishes the other night, I chuckled as I realized how far I’ve come from the December I’d imagined. The holiday cards that arrived in their shiny yellow boxes right after Thanksgiving have yet to be finished. The “25 days of giving” has turned into 3 or 4. The homemade gifts still need to be, well, made.
I’ve decided to be okay with all of it.
The last few weeks have brought a resurgence of grief. Perhaps it’s from stepping into the holiday season. Perhaps it was preparing for the TEDx talk that pulled so many memories to the surface. Perhaps it was simply time to peel another layer of scarring away and expose a deeper wound to the sun. My writing right now is about a part of my life that is not ready to be shared. My focus is being pulled inward. Soft voices are urging me to give myself space to do this deep, healing work.
I am choosing to listen.
This space will be quiet for the next two and a half weeks. I am going on a social media fast: no blogging, no tweeting, no Facebook. I’ll check my email twice a day instead of compulsively every time I see a green flashing light on my phone. The hours feel precious and my soul is calling out to be nurtured and fed. I feel trepidation – a wondering about what I will miss – but it is time.
With a heart full of gratitude and love, I wish you deep peace and exquisite joy this holiday season. Take good care of your hearts and in the quiet moments, notice if there is something your soul is calling out for. Perhaps it is time to listen.
I’ll see you in the new year.
My friend Kristin Noelle has released a wonderful e-book called Unspiking the Holiday Punch. It is full of her lovely illustrations and contains seven gentle practices to help you navigate the emotional minefield of the holidays. If you are someone who struggles when spending time with family (as much as you love them), I highly recommend this simple, loving and wise little book.